As parents, we model the way to be in the world to our children,
- if we model anger through violence, children learn violence
- if we model anger through withdrawing and shutting down, children learn to withdraw and shut down
- if we model anger through shouting, children learn to shout
Anger is a commonly misunderstood emotion, whilst it is natural and normal to get angry at particularly things as it is a sign that something is not quite right, it is important to learn how to model it in the right way.
Healthy modeling of anger
Whilst no parent is perfect, ‘good enough’ parenting is about navigating a way to express difficult emotions such as anger in a way that is constructive and less likely to be damaging to a child.
This might be
- learning to respond rather than react. Give yourself a time out and count slowly to ten whilst breathing in and out before you respond to the adult or child who has made you angry.
- Understanding your triggers – knowing in advance the things that are likely to make you angry prepares you better, and makes it more likely that you will be able to make an informed choice about how to respond, for eg, if you know that something you partner says hits a nerve, being aware of that in advance can allow you to prepare a response you might make rather than reacting in anger and fuelling further conflict.
For more information on how to manage anger in a healthy way or if you have concerns about someone elses behaviour, please feel free to contact us for a chat at firstname.lastname@example.org