‘Things are just different now’
There is a grieving process involved for all family members when parents separate. Grieving might look like shock, denial, sadness, or anger and it might take time for things to feel ‘normal’ again.
In cases where parents simply can no longer get on, it may be in the best interests of the child that they separate. One way of helping child process the separation is to develop a language around how the situation is neither good, or bad, right or wrong, things are simply different now.
Children can be adverse to change, particularly children with a developmental delay.
Some ways to help them adjust to things being different are:
- Have a schedule up on the wall so they can see whether they will be when.
- Allow them to have family photos and memorabilia in the room in each house they are in to create continuity
- Make changeovers as smooth as possible with minimal fuss and conflict
- Shield children from conflict and endeavour to maintain an amiable coparenting relationship where possible.
- Make extra time for your child. Be available for them to speak to you and be prepared to speak with them when they need to about their feelings surround the separation.
We appreciate the difficulties involved in separation and it is a process that takes time for everyone to adjust to. If you or a family member is struggling with the effects of separation, please get in contact with us for further information and support at firstname.lastname@example.org